Some Thoughts on Losing Weight

I've absorbed, through society, certain opinions about what it means to be fat. This isn't necessarily what *I* think; it's how I believe society in general views fat people.

And what does society think? Well, I'll tell ya.

1. If you're fat, it's your fault. Show some flipping self-control, people. Put the soda down and abstain from butter on your popcorn. If you can't control yourself, we'll do it for you.

2. And why is it so important you lose that weight? Because you're grossing everyone out! Please do not exit your home, attend social events or visit the mall. If you do decide to roam the countryside, then you are fair game and we are allowed to openly ridicule you.

3. But really, we don't want you to be fat because it's UNHEALTHY (said the anorexic, coke-addicted actress to the poor "plus-sized" model in size 6 jeans).

4. Besides, losing weight is easy. You just have to stop shoving your face with unhealthy food and get off your couch once in awhile. Take the stairs, not the elevator, you lazy slob.

Even though I see evidence of this attitude everywhere, I'm not so sure I agree with society on these points. Actually, I am sure - I don't agree. Here's why:

1. What IS being fat, anyway? I mean, I can't get a read on it. Is fat anything over what the doctor has written on that chart in his office (the height-weight ratio thingy)? Because there are entire CULTURES and RACES that are genetically prone to be larger. Others are prone to be smaller. Why are ALL HUMAN BEINGS judged by one single set of criteria and who came up with it? Am I really supposed to be lumped in with that guy who had to have his living room wall torn down so he could exit the building? I know I feel like a house sometimes, but I can still get through an average-sized entryway without a mallet.

And even once you've definitely, officially crossed the bar into being overweight, could it possibly be for OTHER reasons than excess cake access? Like maybe you used your body to create ... I don't know ... PEOPLE? Or maybe you have an illness, like diabetes? Or maybe an injury has limited your ability to workout? Can we stop sneering at large people until we actually KNOW that their problem is nothing more than their unceasing gluttonous indulgences?

2. You know what I think is gross? Walking skeletons.

Whenever I see those gleeful magazine covers, with movie stars in bikinis on the cover, their cellulite circled in red with arrows pointing at it, I'm always like, am I supposed to delight in this? Am I supposed to laugh at them because they actually look human on occasion? That doesn't make me feel better about my own insecurities. What makes me feel better are those Dove ads with REAL women dancing around confidently. Melissa McCarthy rocking the red carpet. Or Rebel Wilson owning her body in Pitch Perfect.

3. I know weighing 1,000 pounds is probably not good for your heart. But I'm having a hard time convincing myself that being 20 pounds over my "limit" means I need government intervention into my diet. I think part of getting older is putting on a few pounds. And I'm no scientist (I know you're laughing at the very idea), but new research is actually saying that you CAN be fat and healthy.

I'm not saying we should all toss out our exercise equipment, take up residence in the delicious center of our couch (you know, where the cushion has finally formed itself into the shape of your butt, cradling your backside like a baby), and fill our mouths with empty calories. Sweet, sweet empty calories...

Wait, what were we talking about?

4. Can I just say? I think anyone who has lost more than 10 pounds through some form of weight loss program/efforts should be able to put that on their resume. Because it is FREAKING HARD! Talk about a good example of work ethic. (I think I've lost two pounds so far. But I don't know if it really counts since I gained it right back.)

Losing weight is more than just deciding you need to drop a few so you make a workout plan and cut back on the calories. It is a CONSTANT TEST OF WILLPOWER. Every moment of every day, you have to MAKE the decision not to eat those cookies, not to drink that second Coke, not to skip the workout just this once because the baby was up all night again. I mean, the cookies are sitting right. There. And I'm hungry! And I work hard taking care of these kids! Don't I deserve one? Just one?

Then, next thing you know, half the package is gone and I'm online, checking to see if Groupon has a deal on liposuction.

This is my body now and I want to be okay with it. I don't want to starve myself or workout until I pass out. I want to play with my kids and be soft to hug and when someone offers me an extra scoop of ice scream, I want to answer with a guilt-free, "hell yes!" I don't need to be "hot." I already got a man and he seems to like me just fine. So I guess I just need to stop worrying what "society" thinks of me and relax.

Stop caring what people think of me and learn to relax? Hmmm... Might be easier to just lose the weight.